Clean Sheets and Birthday Cake
Thank you for listening, my darlings. I was looking for photos to add to this post and all I could find was this which is of the buttercream frosting I made in the bathroom - yes, it does seem quite wrong - because I didn’t want to disturb Dad.
5/24/20262 min read
Shownotes: Episode 4
episode description:
Seth turns fifty in the middle of hospice care, and somehow the day becomes both heartbreaking and strangely joyful.
In this installment of Dispatches from Temple Heights, Kristen recounts a sleepless night, hospice workers who bring humor and humanity into the house, the surreal intimacy of caring for a dying parent, and a birthday celebration filled with Guinness, grocery store cake, party hats, inappropriate death jokes, and moments of real tenderness.
It’s an episode about exhaustion, friendship, family, ritual, and the strange beauty of continuing to celebrate life while death sits in the next room.
chapter breakdown:
00:00 — Another Morning at Temple Heights
A gorgeous day finally arrives after endless rain. Kristen opens the sliding doors to let the ocean breeze and birdsong into the house.
03:00 — The Night We Thought We Might Lose Him
A difficult overnight stretch: agitation, medication, sleeplessness, fear, and watching her father drift in and out.
08:30 — Hospice Morning
Laura the nurse arrives early to help. Fresh sheets, physical care, changing clothes, and the surreal intimacy of tending to a dying body.
15:00 — The Women Who Do This Work
Reflections on hospice aides, social workers, emotional labor, and why Kristen realizes she could never do this job herself.
20:00 — Privacy, Family, and the Body
Thoughts on whether family should care for loved ones physically at the end of life—or whether strangers sometimes offer a different kind of grace.
23:30 — The Chaplain Arrives
A conversation about spirituality, exhaustion, and offering blessings even when religion isn’t central.
27:00 — Decorating for Seth’s 50th
Balloons, streamers, birthday cards, party supplies, and trying to create joy in the middle of anticipatory grief.
31:30 — Visitors, Food, and Small-Town Love
Family, neighbors, casseroles, brownies, pumpkin pie, and the strange abundance that appears around dying.
37:00 — “I’m Coming”
Robin from town hall visits Dad and reminds Kristen that sometimes showing up matters more than politeness or fear.
41:00 — Escape to Camden
Kristen and Seth sneak away for birthday drinks, Guinness, live music, old fashions, lobster Caesar salad, and a few hours of normal life.
48:00 — Cheers to 50
Photos exchanged with family, reflections on missing birthdays, and the tenderness of parallel celebrations happening in different places.
51:00 — Party Hats & Death Jokes
Back at the house: cake, candles, silly hats, laughter, inappropriate humor, gifts “from Dad,” and everyone briefly forgetting what room they’re sitting beside.
56:00 — Checking if He’s Still Breathing
The quiet overnight return to reality. Watching the chest rise and fall. Exhaustion. Gratitude. Another day beginning.